i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
