his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
