Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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