And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
