But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
