i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
