She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
