Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
