I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
