dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
