We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
