alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
