No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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