dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
