I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
