Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
