Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
