I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
