I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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