WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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