i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
