My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We need to rekindle our bromance
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
