relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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