you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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