what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
