Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
