epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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