haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
