I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
