why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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