Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
