I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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