Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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