felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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