I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
