Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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