There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
