gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
