If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
