is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
