ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
