Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
