How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Your dad touched me again.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
