Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
