You're a womanizer and a bitch.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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