Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize
