cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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