So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
