You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
