i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
