so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
