i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
