So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
