on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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