It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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